Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.

April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 December 2011 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 July 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 March 2013 October 2013 April 2014 January 2015 March 2015 August 2015 April 2016 July 2016 September 2016 November 2016 October 2017

Things ain't getting any better. School seems like ain't doing me any good. Going to school for the sake of school and having no friends to depend too. Thats sucks. Its tough, damn tough. Going through alone deep inside mentally and emotionally. I know you have to be alone and be independent sometimes, yah I'm prepared for it but why must it be happening for a long period of time. Cause it sucks big time. It makes me breakdown so many times while ill try to relate my stories to people who have gone through it but they seems like don't understand my feelings how hard I'm going through this shit till now.

People asking me "are u ok?" that question doesn't do me any good to tell people and have the confidence to unsure that letting this feelings out is worth telling. Cause what I've gone through, it was just a mistake and regret. I dunno what to do. Quitting school is just on the edge.. I told people i feel like quitting school but all they say is "don't be ridiculous" they never ask y. And all i have do to is make them understand not they make me understand its a bad decision. Isn't that more stressful and keeping it to yourself better?

Started smoking back since nothing and no one understand me except this thing. At this point of time this thing worth my money.. Cause this is like a guy buying a stripper but for me its the ciggerate. The thing doesn't ask why but all he does is calm me down make me happy in a way.."positive"? Haha. I know its ridiculous ya.. Many people just don't get it -.- all the do is judge. And don't listen. They have their own way or style but this is what i do. This little things make me happy and making me to never give up it a way. I know its not good but i will stop when this problem or this feelings go away.. Or isit insecurity? Hmm... People see me as a girl who always laugh and happy but deep inside I'm not. I do that cause thats life.. Thats not their problem why bother. I don't want them to judge me. Judge me as the girl who cry, being sad, being insecure and everything cause I'm not like that in past... Is it part of growing up? If that is. Especially if this lead me to a bad life in the future of me not getting to my dreams Im sure gonna remember about it.. Omg this sucks.

Problems keep popping up.. And nothing getting solve.. My bottle is getting full and im getting crazy anytime soon.. Now i know why people get stress and jump down from a building.. I know the feeling why they did... Much respect for the courage but thats i think is too stupid. Cause god give u life to go through all this.. I just need time and strength. I hope this feelings, problem just go away anytime soon. Cause everyday i feel like crying and this sucks. I don't like it. It boring. It doesn't do me any good cause from wht i see nothing change... Yeah i know in this blogpost have a lot of cause or becuase.... Because everything happen for a reason. But it seems like its not ending... Whyyyyyyyyyy? I dont understand. Hais. Life huh? Tough. But i think people think this is just little or im just overreacting.. Hais. I don't know basically why do to. Maybe another blogpost will be longer or shorter? Good bye. And wish me luck for the future.

Labels: Shitty life.